How as a Woman One Can Overcome Feeling Guilty about Prioritizing Themselves

It is no secret that women often carry a lot of responsibilities, from managing their careers to taking care of their families and homes. As a result, many women struggle with prioritizing themselves and their needs, which can lead to self-guilt and negative self-talk.

Why do women feel guilty about prioritizing themselves?

Societal Expectations:

Women are often expected to prioritize the needs of others before their own. This expectation is deeply ingrained in our society, and women often feel guilty when they prioritize their own needs over those of their families, friends, or colleagues. They may worry that they are being selfish or neglecting their responsibilities, which can lead to negative self-talk and self-doubt.

Cultural Conditioning:

Women are conditioned to believe that they are not as important as men, and their needs should come second. So, they don’t take care of themselves and consider men in their life as a priority.

Fear of Judgement:

Women may worry about being judged by others when they prioritize themselves. They may feel like they need to justify their actions or prove that they are not being selfish, which can lead to feelings of guilt.

Lack of Role Models:

Women may not have enough role models who prioritize their own needs, which can make them feel guilty when they try to do the same. They grow up in an environment where prioritizing one’s own needs is ridiculed. They grow up seeing all the women in their family prioritizing the needs of the male members of society ignoring their own. So, seeing other women prioritize themselves can be empowering and help to reduce feelings of guilt.

Guilt from Childhood:

Women are often taught from a young age to put others before themselves, leading them to be conditioned in a way that they don’t care about their own needs. When they do, they feel guilty about the same.

Perfectionism:

Women often strive for perfection in all areas of their life, including being the so-called perfect wife or mothers. When they fail to do so, they will feel guilty. But they must understand these definitions of a perfect woman are created by the patriarchal world and they need not follow the same.

Emotional Labor:

Women are often responsible for the emotional labor of their families and workplaces, which can leave them feeling drained. So, when they try to prioritize their needs and have some breathing space to organize their thoughts, they will feel guilty that instead of taking care of their family are prioritizing their own needs.

Lack of Boundaries:

Women often struggle to set boundaries for themselves and say no to others, leading to feelings of guilt. Learning to say no is the biggest gift women can give to themselves.

Fear of Abandonment:

Women often fear that if they prioritize themselves, they will be abandoned by their loved ones and they don’t want that to happen.

Lack of Self-Worth:

Women who lack self-worth may feel like they do not deserve to prioritize themselves, leading to feelings of guilt when they do.

But women need to overcome this self-guilt and prioritize themselves. Here are some tips to do so.

Recognize the Importance of Self-Care:

Self-care is not selfish; it is essential for our overall well-being. Women need to recognize that taking care of themselves is important for their mental and physical health, and it is not something to feel guilty about. Prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies that bring you joy.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk:

Women need to challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations. They should remind themselves that they are worthy of prioritizing their needs and that taking care of themselves will benefit those around them.

Practice Self-Compassion:

Women need to practice self-compassion and treat themselves with kindness and understanding. They should remind themselves that they are doing the best they can and that it is okay to prioritize their needs. Start by speaking kindly to yourself and things will fall into place.

Set Boundaries:

Setting boundaries is important for prioritizing oneself. Women should learn to say no to requests that do not align with their priorities, and they should communicate their boundaries clearly with those around them.

Seek Support:

Women should seek support from friends, family members, mental health professionals, or coaches when they feel guilty about prioritizing themselves. Talking to others can help to validate their feelings and provide a new perspective.

Find Role Models:

Women should find role models who prioritize themselves and surround themselves with people who support their efforts to prioritize their needs. Seeing other women prioritize themselves can be empowering and help to reduce feelings of guilt.

Acknowledge Your Feelings:

It is essential to acknowledge your feelings of guilt and understand where they are coming from. This can help you identify the root cause and work on overcoming it.

Prioritize Your Health:

Your health should be a top priority. Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional health. It will help you deal with anything with ease.

Learn to Delegate:

Delegating tasks to others can help you prioritize your own needs and reduce feelings of guilt. You are not eating away their time. You are just delegating specific tasks to people who are good at them.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People:

Surround yourself with people who support your decision to prioritize yourself. Having positive people will help you understand that you need not feel guilt about prioritizing yourself.

Let Go of Perfectionism:

It is essential to let go of the need to be perfect and accept that it is okay to prioritize yourself. Perfection is subjective and the definition of what’s perfect is debatable.

In conclusion, women often feel guilty about prioritizing themselves due to societal expectations, self-doubt, fear of judgement, and lack of role models. However, by recognizing the importance of self-care, challenging negative self-talk, practising self-compassion, setting boundaries, seeking support, and finding role models, women can overcome this guilt and prioritize themselves. It is essential for women to take care of themselves, and it is not something to feel guilty about. By prioritizing themselves, women can improve their overall well-being, and in turn, be better equipped to care for those around them.

Meena Chabbria.